Worst. Panic Attack. Ever… Ever

So one of my problems during this whole tapering ordeal is being alone. It makes me a little on edge because I just worry that I’ll have an emergency attack and not have anyone here for me.

Wellllll….. Last night my husband went out with his friends and I was left home alone all night with our 3 year old son. I asked my sister to come over to keep me company but she had already made plans with some friends that were in town.

I did pretty well, kept myself busy by playing with my son. We laid down to sleep and fell asleep all snuggly. I even remember thinking “wow I did it sans an attack” before going to sleep.

Fast forward to 3 am I jolted awake from a nightmare. Usually at this point I’m able to do some deep breathing and go back to sleep but when I woke up and remembered that I was alone it sent me overboard. This attack was very different though- I felt as though I had Parkinson’s disease I was twitching and shaking and every 15-20 seconds my whole body would contract and tense every muscle. It sent me into further panic. It was horrible.

I called my mom (my security blanket). I’m sure I scared her because I could barely talk.

She’s an expert by now though and instantly began occupying my mind and talking to me forcing me to think of different things. Slowly (very slowly- the attack lasted 25 minutes) but surely the attack passed.

I took 1/2 of a .25mg xanax to take the edge off. I got off the phone with my mom after 25 minutes and laid in bed. I put my headphones on to listen to one of deepak chopras guided meditation “beach visualization” it’s actually really beautiful and helpful.

Fast forward to 5 am I was still awake. I wasn’t in a panic but not comfortable enough to go back to sleep. I listened to the guided meditation at least 8 times. Lol.

Please God, hear my prayer, may I NEVER ever have to experience anything like that ever again.

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